Out of chaos

Jack Deatherage

"Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil
and you're a thousand miles from a cornfield."

(2/2025) I was two years old when President Eisenhower made that statement during an address at Bradley University in 1956. Sixty-eight years later I nod in agreement. Though I've never worked a cornfield with a pencil or a plow I have plotted gardens, sometimes on paper, but mostly in my head. Neither form of plotting has ever made it into a garden intact.

Since the Town Council approved my building a new community garden along Cedar Avenue during the January 2023 Board meeting... nothing has gone according to my vision for the garden. Which is understandable given all the possible designs, functions and purposes of any garden let alone a community garden. When combined with my bobble-headedness it's a wonder anything remotely resembling a garden exists on that one time farmers’ market lot. (By the way, one dictionary definition of "bobble headed" - a thoughtless person. I'm the opposite of that. Way too many thoughts ricocheting within the confines of my skull.)

Add the uncontrollable variables of: weather (a cold Spring set most of the garden a month behind last year), wildlife (the Summer drought brought deer into the garden seeking moisture and nourishment in the form of cabbages) and human intervention (three new gardeners, thankfully, took over beds I'd other plans for) and I'm often left amazed at what little a handful of volunteers have managed to do with the garden. Inferior bulbs and corms purchased from previously reliable suppliers wrecked the display flowerbeds along the avenue and in the library's section at the rear of the garden. Spotted lantern flies, while not unexpected, didn't do as much damage as anticipated, though Harlequin bugs eventually devastated the kale until cold weather knocked them down. Oleander aphid (Aphis nerii) - the cutest black-legged yellow aphid I've ever seen - sucked several swamp milkweeds dry in the library's section of the garden.

Side note: several Europeans I've chatted with have told me poisons, oleander being one of them, among other non-firearms related murder methods, have long been their cultures' go-to means of ridding themselves of unwanted people. Poisons were, probably still are in areas without modern forensic technology, favored for several reasons. They are easy to administer, take long enough to do the job so's the killer has time to leave the scene and are usually very painful should the killer want to hang around to enjoy the victim's suffering. I'll do my best to keep poisonous plants out of the garden. Eh-hem. No need to tempt anyone.

Back to the variables that influence the garden's development. Money being a prime example. Because I don't ask the town for help unless I can't get around a problem, I'm limited by what money I can get the DW to part with, or garden supporters press upon me. Which in turn slows down the growth of the garden. Which keeps us (mostly me) from taking on more than we (the few people helping) can handle each year. However!

The mayor, town manager and several commissioners have urged me to make use of the money they've set aside for projects such as the community garden. I just can't bring myself to build the garden with taxpayer money. It's always in my mind that the garden can still fail. That we might not ever get enough people involved in the project to justify the money currently being spent. It worries me that people I respect keep telling me the moment I quit the garden the garden is over. That no one else will step up to maintain it let alone expand it.

I have a 10-year plan, sort of. I guesstimate the DW will let me spend about $2,000 a year on the garden. I don't expect anyone else to donate materials or cash so two grand, spread over the course of the season, dictates what we'll do each year. This year I planned on adding 4 metal raised beds, purchase soil to fill them as well as a wheel barrow, and about 100 straw bales - all of which surpasses the 2 grand limit the DW has. A minor detail if everything is acquired piecemeal. Enter forces beyond my control.

Town Manager, Cathy Willets, emails me about a possible grant from Sustainable Maryland for the garden. Grants Administrator, Madeline Shaw, sends a follow-up email asking a bunch of questions about the community garden. Both warn me the grant is very competitive and I shouldn't expect any money this first time the town applies for it. I look the grant up online and realize there is no chance the garden, as it currently is, will get a penny from the state. I contentedly go back to planning the 2025 garden with the librarians and their children's STEM program. HA! Enter the laughing gods!

During the January board of commissioners meeting Ms Willets announces Emmitsburg has been awarded a grant for the Cedar Avenue community garden. Turns out the state thinks the garden is worth a $15,000 investment. I almost said a bad word as all the possible trouble that much money would cause if dumped in my lap, which I feared would happen as I'm the designated head of this idiot's project.

Fortunately for everyone the grant was for specific things- a waterline into the lot, a garden shed and more raised beds if any money is leftover. I considered thanking the laughing gods, but they'd just set me up for some other prank so I let them have their laugh and went back to figuring out how to make happen what the librarians want for the season. If town staff needs my thoughts on where and what with the waterline and shed I have more questions than I do suggestions.

Since the primary users of the garden, to date, are the children's librarians I'm going to rely on their wants and needs for expanding the garden going forward. It will be the current crop of preschoolers who will eventually take over the garden when we adult gardeners age out. Keeping the kids engaged shouldn't be a problem as more adults begin planting plots as we expand the garden. The librarians tell me the kids are fascinated by the public and private beds outside of their section of the garden.

$15,000 from the state? Never expected that, though Brian McKenney, the muscle and brains building the garden, told me this was going to happen and happen quickly. Non-believer that I am, I'm going to continue planning the garden as if people are not going to show up to help, which he also said was going to happen once the garden became a reality.

Adding to the chaos, Brian and I are planning to tear up most of what we've already built. Move it and rebuild as we slowly figure out a design that suits the function of the garden. Of course we aren't sure what the function is though we know it will involve sustainability, education and kids.

And garlic, shallots and onions if I'm involved in planting the garden each year!